LezB

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!  I feel like overall, I’m doing so well with my healthy lifestyle.  I am exercising almost every day.  I eat more fruits and veggies.  I load my diet with whole grains and lean proteins.  I even meditate to clear my mind of negative thoughts and encourage positivity by spending time with great people. 

But why can’t I stay away from the refined sugars?????  It’s literally like there is crack in my snack.  I eat  one cookie and then one becomes ten…and then twenty.  I take a spoon full of my frozen yogourt and then I black out…and then I wake up to my spoon scraping the empty carton.  I’ve tried all of the tricks, drinking water, going for a walk, meditating on it, calling a friend, eating fruit.  Nothing works.  Even if I manage to go the entire day doing so well, some evil sugar succubus is sure to pop out of the dark recesses of my apartment and taunt me until I succumb.  I’m still losing weight…for now, but I don’t feel like I’m in control of my own sugar destiny.

So it’s 9:45 at night and I’m sitting here watching Nurse Jackie, feeling oh so awesome.  Why do you ask?  Well, today I dragged my girlfriend to the mall to go sneaker shopping with me and then I dragged her lazy  ass to the gym.  You see, I bought her a year-long membership to one of my gyms and she NEVER goes (more money lost ugh). I’d had enough.  I called her up and said “Baby, get your basketball shorts and be ready by 1:30″.  She was in complete shock but said “Okay”.  I bought a beautiful pair of black New Balance running sneakers and $30 custom insoles.  My feet are worth it.  We put in 2 hours at the gym and worked it out big time.  I felt amazing afterward and my girlfriend told me that she was actually glad that I had forced her to come.  Lessons learned:  When it comes to your sneakers, the cuter they are, the more they will motivate you and you can’t put a price on comfort AND…You won’t feel like rushing back home to your partner if they are already at the gym with you. 

 Thank you to all who sent me words of encouragement today.  Having support like this motivates me to get my big (beautiful) butt up and get moving.

I have moved some of the other things off of my “life plate” to make room for what I consider to be the most important thing right now, ME.  I have reached the end of living and breathing for everyone else at the cost of me.  Now that I’m allowing myself to be selfish, I actually have time to realize that I have gained a huge portion of my previously lost weight back and that I don’t feel healthy.  I have reached out to healthy and like-minded women in my life for support and encouragement and I have begun the process of blocking out the saboteurs and haters.  If I can’t lose weight, I will have no one to blame but myself.  Two weeks ago I was 271 and with this initial loss of 7 pounds I feel more motivated than ever to keep it going.